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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929806">oh, sisyphus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/trendykids/pseuds/trendykids'>trendykids</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Development, F/M, Fire, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hi no Kuni | Land of Fire, I have no idea what to tag anymore, Konohagakure | Hidden Leaf Village, M/M, Mangekyou Sharingan, Multi, Not Canon Compliant, Politics, Really really really slow burn, Sarutobi Hiruzen Bashing, Sharingan, Shinobi Politics (Naruto), Slow Burn, THE CLAN ABOVE ALL, Third Shinobi War, Uchiha Clan-centric, Warring States Period (Naruto), Worldbuilding, and said i should post on ao3, antagonistic oc - Freeform, bc uchihas like that shit, but dont read all the tags bc spoilers uwu, but its still canon but will develop differently, but this is slow burn, elders of the clan are asses but aint everyone, fugaku as jounin sensei, grey oc, heavily uchiha-centric so kinda character development but nah, morals whats that, oc is an uchiha with a stick up her ass, or like 30, politics politics but a full 20-chapter build-up before it, sisyphus - Freeform, so here is oh sisyphus on ao3, someone scolded me, uchihas arent stupid get that right, uchihas everywhere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:13:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24929806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/trendykids/pseuds/trendykids</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The ascension and downfall of Uchiha Tatara. (Or: Uchiha Tatara died a legend. This is the life of the woman who led the Uchiha Clan; a kunoichi, a mother, a wife, a granddaughter, and above all else, she was an Uchiha.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Uchiha Shisui/Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. LET THE GODS WORSHIP ME</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>here is tatara, second of her name and born from the inferno of kagutsuchi's birth.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>.</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p><b>ALL SHE HAS KNOWN, </b>and ever has to know is The Clan. She knows how the heat underneath her pale skin is due to her natural affinity with the scorching heat of the sun, how her charcoal eyes are the birth of brothers and sisters and a love untold, only written in aged scrolls, how the collar of her tops and the fan emblazoned on her back screams of the truth that will never go away. She cannot always be one of Konohagakure no Sato's kunoichi. She cannot always be Tatara whose name means too little and too much in a field where blood is shed more times than it is born. She cannot always be those people but she knows, she knows like how she knows the flames will always be her friend, she knows like how she knows who she is and who she will be. Tatara will always be, no matter what happens, a member of the Uchiha Clan. <em>The Clan</em>, always The Clan.</p><p>She does not tell anyone how her heart bursts with pride as multicolored eyes glance her way and identify that 'ah, this girl is an Uchiha'. Because the Uchiha Clan is an age when  everything is stable and everything is constantly moving to the sparks of flames yet so stagnant with the lazy spinning of the gleaming red eyes. They are an old tradition begging to be remembered and everyone who meets their eyes have the beauty of forgotten warlords descending their vision as the volcano erupts and eats them whole. Because the fans of high collars and dark hues are the Uchiha Clan. They are everything it represents. The fan that gives fire more and more and more and more life<b>—</b>The Uchiha Clan are flames of untamable spirits, descendants of Kagutsuchi, he who is the son of the infamous Izanagi and Izanami, he who burns gods with low wails.</p><p>Which is why she never complains. She never complains as the burn marks etch the corners of her mouth or even when her grandfather pushes her further than he is supposed to. It is always for The Clan. Her blood, her ancestors, her future children and grandchildren and her descendants. The Clan, The Clan, always and always and first and foremost, it is always The Clan.</p><p>"Gokakyuu no Jutsu<em>(1)</em>." With a single tiger seal, the wizen man releases the grand fireball of The Clan. As the flames tickle the edges of the river, smoke wraps around the water in evidence of the raw heat of the mixture of Yin and Yang Chakra. He turns to face her, numb. "This is the coming-of-age technique of The Clan. Try it."</p><p>Tatara frowns. Her grandfather's stare meets her own dark eyes, almost as if daring her to disobey him. "But ojiisama, I<b>—</b>I don't know the handseals," she mumbles hesitantly, "I haven't seen it yet and you only used the Tiger Seal."</p><p>"And so?" Her grandfather questions back. (And the flames that tickle his lips are almost majestic in the eyes of Tatara for before her is one of the few masters of Katon Jutsu with arsenals known throughout the countries. Uchiha Takobu is a born and raised Uchiha with the eyes of a monster and a breathe of god. Oh, Kagutsuchi-sama, blessed is he whose fathers and mothers are of the kami.) "What have I always told you, <em>Tatara</em>?"</p><p>There are days when she forgets she is Tatara, more days when she is less Tatara and more Uchiha, more the single granddaughter of a bitter war hawk, more the daughter of a forgotten warrior, more an echo of what had have been than what can be. For Uchiha Tatara can never be Tatara without Uchiha but always can be Uchiha without Tatara. But even when her forehead meets the wooden planes of the shrine, she cannot help but wonder when the gods will save her. A shroud of darkness engulfs her whole entity and she calls them the usual clothes.</p><p>"Find out if you do not know," Tatara stammers, repeating the words that have been carved within her from inside and out. She immediately blocks out the upcoming gaze full of the disappointment she has always been receiving. Why is it that the honored grandfather<b>—</b>breathing has always been a little too hard.</p><p>The last thing she sees is the Uchiha fan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>THE TIGER SEAL IS MORE COMMONLY USED WITH FIRE TECHNIQUES, </b>that much Tatara knows. She has seen it far too often in the pale hands of her clansmen, flicking from one handsign to some other complex ones. The Uchiha Clan has always believed that strength cannot be restrained. And while women of The Clan are taught the movements of The Clan, most are within the walls of the village, taught to protect instead to burn. Uchiha Takobu does not want this for his only heir, the only one left to master his personal techniques for his son has long passed and his daughter-in-law is incapacitated in the hospital and loses more than she can ever afford to. (One infant and then another and then one more infant, a pause then Tatara, and then another and then another and then a medic smiles, almost apologetic.) While the village rests, The Clan does not.</p><p>"Takobu-dono," and it sometimes suffocates him to hear the nasally voice of a fellow-Elder during the numerous of Clan Meetings that pass within the years but Takobu still stands firm, unable to let go of the only trophy he collects in his years of war and glory. He calls it pride and the other shinobi call it arrogance. "Fugaku is to be married with the heiress. Matsuma-dono thinks his son is much preferred in comparsion to Fugaku. What do you think?"</p><p><em>Ah</em>, Takobu thinks. Many Uchiha amongst The Clan frown upon the relationship of Uchiha Mikoto, the heiress of The Clan, and Uchiha Fugaku with equally remarkable heritage. A prodigious boy<b>—</b>or perhaps, man. Their relationship is not the most ideal, in belief that someone wielding one of The Clan's most devastating eyes are more compatible with the heiress. Fugaku does not have the Mangekyou, as far as the Elders know. Takobu doubts this. He remembers how a fourteen-year-old boy stumbles within the village gates as he carries the body of a deceased comrade in his back, eyes in ebony frenzy as he screams for Tsunade who has been gone for more years than Takobu likes.</p><p>He straightens his back discreetly. "Fugaku has held the position of Jounin ever since he was fourteen and a half, if I am not mistaken," and of course, he is not mistaken. The infamous strategist of the Uchiha Clan can never be at such position even if he is on his death bed (his vision dots). His eyes narrow. "While Matsuma-dono's son has only been a Jounin for two years. Fugaku's prodigious skill in terms of Ninjutsu will gladly favor the next generation. Mikoto has enough skill in Genjutsu as is. It is time for equal aptitude for Genjutsu and Ninjutsu to be the next heirs, Matsuma-dono. I believe Fugaku will do the heiress great."</p><p>Matsuma fumes from the sidelines, eyes tinting red but not daring to manifest the pinwheel gaze of The Clan. He nods once and keeps silent during the whole meeting. <em>Matsuma</em>, Takobu notices, <em>is a greedy man</em>. Smoke embraces his gaze as the he separates the pipe from the tip of his lips. He tilts his head, eyes wandering to the wooden planes and<b>—</b></p><p>There are days when Takobu is disappointed of Tatara and while he voices it out, he does not voice out the desparation to push his granddaughter. He knows better than to push a child past their limits. (He knows, he insists.) The heiress' destined fianceé learns the Gokakyū within a week and the bare smoke under two days. Takobu does not give Tatara the handsigns. The Clan's strength is their Sharingan and the ability for the crimson hands to immitate the flashing seals and there is suddenly a mirror before the enemy. He wants only the best for Tatara. He does not like the Uchiha as it is. He does not like the isolation of closed walls and hesitant civilians. He does not like the eyes of the Hokage's almost forced smiles (and Takobu is a veteran of war and has caught a glimpse of Hashirama and Madara's raw <em>raw raw </em>power, he knows what he sees) and the want behind the scarred Elder the Hokage calls his friend.</p><p>The Clan is weakening and it is all because of the prejudice this village is creating. Hashirama had been a good shinobi but he was never a good man. Warm, hopeful, and merciful but he was not kind. Men being called 'God of Shinobi' even past their deaths are not good men. Men like Hiruzen who is merely a speck of dust in the presence of the great Senju Hashirama are not good men. Shinobi are not good men. They do not need peace. They never do. Because if there is something Takobu knows (he has gone through the Sengoku Jidai, and the First Shinobi War, and the Second Shinobi War, and now the Third<b>—</b>the shadow of the Fourth Shinobi War waves and promises it is coming), it is that there will always be war. Always.</p><p>"Tatara," he calls and the name sounds so<em>sososo </em>heavy on his lips as if he is carrying the weight of the entire world, almost as heavy as Uchiha Kagami's secret and the way the curly-haired Uchiha's eyes widen, his normally frantic tone disappearing. <em>I don't need to explain.</em> Takobu discreetly squares his shoulders and he waits for his granddaughter to meet his eyes from the ground.</p><p>The edges of her lips are rimmed with the remnants of odd handsigns forced to cooperate with one another, the burns of the wannabe-Gokakyū kisses her. "I apologize, ojiisama. I just can't<b>—</b>" Tatara is cut off when Takobu slowly shows the hand seals and whips a ball of fire from his lips.</p><p>"I expect that you caught that," Takobu says.</p><p>"Ye<b>—</b>yes, ojiisama!"</p><p>Takobu always watches, he realizes. He watches as Tatara fumbles over the seals and watches how Tatara excells the most in strategies. He keeps on watching and watching until he recognizes the faults that he may never be able to fix; Tatara will grow similar to her mother. She will stand past one-hundred and sixty centimeters, or barely past it. As she grows, she will look more like her father than her mother because Takobu <em>sees </em>the sharpened eyes and the nose forming already. But, Takobu adds, Tatara still has her mother's lips, one that is always in a frown. Takobu will have to fix that. Most outsiders tend to think that the dead woman had been one of the most intimidating woman of The Clan to ever become a kunoichi. Takobu almost agrees. But clearly, they have not met the women of the Sengoku Jidai whose eyes are permanently drenched with the blood of Senju, whose manicured nails are perfected to claw their way out of the skin that traps them, whose blood red lips curl to the right angle, just enough to bare their fangs personally sharpened to show their ferocity and anger and l<em>ove </em>for the deceased.</p><p>He watches as Tatara fixes herself for the Academy. She is four and her posture is perfect, there is not a single strand of her hair unkept, and her whole personality shows of her Uchiha blood. Takobu is almost bitter. <em>Almost</em> but he will never say it out loud. Like he will never say that the first time he killed a man is when he is seven with eyes blazing withe Sharingan, breathe hitching but he does not regret it and even dives his tantou d<em>eep deep deep</em> because this man (his first kill is a Senju, just like many children of The Clan during the years of bloodshed) attempted to kill him and the blood of his blood. He will never tell anyone how he is almost envious of how Tatara is just entering the Academy when Takobu is already wearing the armor for war and his eyes are already ready to see blood. Almost.</p><p>"Tatara," and her name is still heavy on his lips as he meets the eyes of the ones mirroring his son's (he also does not say how much it is painful to see his son in his supposedly beloved granddaughter; he is not that cruel), "remember what I told you."</p><p>
  <em>You are an Uchiha.</em>
</p><p>Tatara (bonds, like the constellation in the sky composed of the gleaming and taunting and hu<em>rting st</em>ars, bonds) looks up at him and nods fiercely. What a child his granddaughter is. She is always eager to please. "Of course, ojiisama!"</p><p>
  <em>You are fire-born and your fate is enscripted in molten gold, swimming through the depths of burning blue magma and the skies cower at the pinwheels of your gaze.</em>
</p><p>What a foolish granddaughter.</p><p>
  <em>You are an Uchiha.</em>
</p><p>(He will never say it out loud, never but<b>—)</b></p><p>
  <em>Show the world your blood.</em>
</p><p>(<b>—</b>I love you.)</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>SHE BREEZES THROUGH HER SPARS AND ACADEMICS, </b>and before she knows it, the Academy Instructor (who always had a soft spot for the Uchiha Clan who are beauty and grace and death and flames from the breath of the gods) tells her that she can move to the class graduating in a year or two. She tells this to her grandfather who frowns and turns for yet another meeting with the Elders. He comes back with the same frown, a little deeper and a little more disappointed. He tells her (in his own cruel way of telling her that she has to do better because she will become the one to change this clan, be the Uchiha that he failed to be) that The Clan wants a prodigy who will finish the Academy in less than a year, who will be shown off as theirs. Tatara tries. She really does but she is not Hatake Kakashi who finishes the Academy in a blink, a single year and he is at the top of his class with blank eyes and empty features, all covered by the mask he uses to erase the shame of his father and the usual <em>always always </em>'you look like the White Fang' and 'you look like that coward' and he is a perfect shinobi. She is not Hatake Kakashi. The Clan wants her to be and she will always be sorry.</p><p>What a joke.</p><p>Tatara deals with worse when she is defeated by a Hyuuga a year older than her, a so-called genius (they call it genius but the village is just desparate for more shinobi, she tells herself years later as she watches the corpse of the first boy who beats her in a spar wilt away and burn along with the green scribbles on his forehead) as well. The pain of her pressure point throbs and it hurts more than the trainings of her grandfather. It burns and it burns and burns just like the anger of losing and the next thing she knows is that she is lunging for the Hyuuga like the sore loser she is and her Academy Instructor barks her name like a leader of a squad told to go to another mission like he is supposed to be but the village needs more instructors so the village chains him to the Academy, telling him to teach children how to kill and he throws up most nights. All nights. Every night.</p><p>The Hyuuga is called Horio. Or something like that. Tatara forgets everything when she is angry, something she is told to have inherited from her grandfather as she sits silently on the chair as she is scolded by her instructor. She pulls her fist in the style that she remembers is carved painfully to her bones, burned through her skin and she remembers her grandfather's eyes as he tells her that a Taijutsu Style is the identity of The Clan and she pushes the Academy Style away and moves to the Tobihi<em>(1)</em> Style and launches her fists outwards.</p><p>Horio's frown deepens and his Byakugan flashes before her. They exchange more and more fists until their shadows freeze them into place.</p><p>"That's enough," Nara Juuhiro says sternly and his Chuunin vest looks tighter on his as he breathes out his judgement, "form the Seal of Reconcilation."</p><p>Tatara does as told and storms off.</p><p>"Sore loser," Horio calls and his taunting voice creeps on Tatara's skin, getting closer and closer to cutting the very very ve<em>ry </em>last thread she is clutching on, "is that what they teach in the Uchiha Clan? Run away when you lose? Pathetic."</p><p>All that she can see is red.</p><p>Because there is something about his words that twists everything around her and cuts more than the thread of her temper but it cuts through the depths of the magma building up in her chest and she growls and throws everything away because she may be nothing compared to her grandfather but she is everything compared to these white-eyed Hyuuga who are years below her, years below The Clan. Getting a blow through Hyuuga Horio who is merely a Branch Member tastes like gold served on a platter after a long-awaited dinner. It tastes like grandfather's smile on a particularly warm night and it tastes like sunny skies and blue flames and rare smiles from the Elders who look at her with one eye and tells her to make The Clan proud and what she is doing<b>—</b>punching the lights out of Hyuuga Horio who is <em>merely</em> a Branch Member (while she is Uchiha Tatara, fire-born and her fate is enscripted in molten gold, swimming through the depths of burning blue magma and the skies cower at the pinwheels of your gaze; and she remembers the words of the man she calls her grandfather) tastes like the gods.</p><p>Anger tastes like the gods.</p><p><em>Power is intoxicating</em>, Tatara remembers her grandfather tell her once upon a midsummer night, <em>power intoxicates.</em></p><p>"You<b>—</b>" And the volcanic black of her eyes burns with something more than anger and pride seeps through the way she rolls <em>kimi </em>like she is berating a child smaller than her, smaller than she will ever be. "<b>—</b><em>know </em>nothing about The Clan!"</p><p><em>Izanami-sama, Izanagi-sama</em>, she prays, <em>what power you have given us!</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <b>▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>ALL HE HAS KNOWN</b>, and ever has to know is The Clan. He watches as his fellow-Elders look at his granddaughter with the pride of a million suns. They say that she has the fire of The Clan rushing through her veins (not The Will of Fire or whatever bullshit the Shodaime said) and he agrees more than he wants to. He is called to the Academy and he remembers spitting at the soil where it grows. They call it the Academy to make it sound accomodating because they need more shinobi. The civilians are terrified of 'The Ninja Institution' but daydreams of 'The Academy'<b>—</b>Takobu has seen Tobirama. The man is smart but foolish when it comes to his older brother's wishes. What a fool.</p><p>Takobu arrives to the Academy. Nara Juuhiro and another civilian-born Chuunin Instructor welcome him. He sees the wariness behind the gaze of the Nara and utmost devotion in the other. They are still intimidated. They have called the guardian of Uchiha Tatara, not knowing that the guardian so happens to be an Elder of The Clan. Takobu stares back and sees Tatara with her posture still perfect despite the limp and her bruised physique. <em>She remembers the lessons</em>, is his first thought and then, <em>what happened?</em></p><p>A Hyuuga is at the other side of the room, an older man he presumes to be the father of the younger bruised one. He pieces up the incident.</p><p>The civilian-born narrows his eyes when Tatara bows too low for a child when she sees Takobu. "I apologize for bringing you inconvenience, ojiisama," she says and she sounds almost sincere if it not for the way her eyes light up whenever she takes a glance at the more injured Hyuuga. "It will not happen again."</p><p>The Elders want it to happen again despite the disciplinary case showcased. <em>The next time you bruise a Hyuuga</em>, they say, <em>do not go home with bruises on you.</em> Nobody cares of how their aggressions shows narcissism in a level beyond reach, past the clouds and <em>oh</em>, The Clan wants more and more and more and more but the village continues to give them less than they can ever deserve. Why is this happening? The Clan is only<b>—</b>Takobu watches <em>his </em>Tatara bow at the Elders. He watches the Elders adore Tatara.</p><p>A truly loyal Uchiha.</p><p>One who will put The Clan before the village.</p><p>All Takobu has known, and ever has to know is The Clan but that does not mean he has never loved the village. Even though the village continues to claw past his defenses, even if the village forces him to betray more comrades than he can count, and even if the village lets the smiling boy with suns for teeth get whisked away by the scarred man, Takobu still loves the village. The village that he once thought is a mere pipe dream. He closes his eyes.</p><p>And before he can love the village even more, he stares at the image of what is supposed to be a black-haired boy accompanying Tatara and whispering to her of the tales of brotherly adventures. Before he can love the village even more, he clenches his fists and leaves crescent marks all over his pale palms. Before he can love the village even more, he chants to himself.</p><p>
  <em>The Clan above all.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(1) tobihi or 飛び火 means 'leaping flames' which i used to associate with one of the uchiha clan's taijutsu style. this is used to emphasize their usage of fire techniques and their swift movements accompanying their battles.</p><p>(+) uchiha shisui is currently two years old. tatara is three years younger than kakashi, seven years older than itachi, and eleven years older than rookie nine. the current timeline shows the beginning of the third shinobi war; hatake sakumo just died.</p><p>(+) you can also find oh, sisyphus on wattpad since i got scolded and told to post on ao3 :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. END THE WORLD WITH ME</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>tatara makes wishes and discusses foreign names with her cousin.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>TAKOBU MEETS THE 'SHINOBI NO KAMI' WHEN HE IS A MERE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD WITH SHAKING CRIMSON EYES AND BEGS WEIGHING THE SPINNING OF HIS PINWHEELS.</b> He remembers the raw chakra, untamable and he curses too many times and a clansmen beside him (the one always telling him to watch his mouth and straighten his back because he is an Uchiha and Uchiha don't slouch unlike those fake shinobi they call the Nara Clan; laziness is not tolerated in a battlefield and they are the epitome of it with no motivation and devotion just raw selfishness and The Clan hates that) follows the line of his curses. Because if you feel that chakra<b>—</b>that <em>oh-so </em>terrifying chakra like nature and the woods and the trees going against you, like your most trusted companion and their hands slithering all over your body, reaching for your neck and Senju Hashirama's chakra feels like betrayal in its worst form, like light pretending to be darkness, like that story okaasan used to tell about an Uzumaki child walking through the forest to deliver a scroll, only to be fooled by an Inuzuka who fed her to his mutts and Senju Hashirama's chakra makes him feel like a child all over again.</p>
<p>How can Senju Tobirama, rumored to be one of the finest sensor-nin, even defeating the Yamanaka Clan, bare the feeling of betrayal weighing his own brother? Takobu sees a young Uchiha whose years have stopped to four and his eyes spin with the wheels of the cursed eyes, all because of the heavy chakra. The boy falls to the ground and screams of the pain behind the evolution. The Sharingan is unlocked in the times where you are most desparate. Not everybody survives it. Takobu turns his gaze away from the boy with bleeding eyes, breathe heaving and a Senju notices this and cuts his throat with ease. The Senju moves to another Uchiha with the intent to kill. Takobu shakes as he feels more and more of the Senju Clan Head's chakra. He wants to cry. He really does but he is an Uchiha and<b>—</b>Uchiha Izuna falls with a single swing and his Clan Head despairs.</p>
<p>He hears rumors throughout the compound of Izuna's death and he mourns for his Clan Head, the man of strength who tears through their enemies despite everybody knowing of his brief friendship with the man with betrayal for chakra. He mourns for his Clan Head who once had seven brothers and is now the only one. Takobu knows the feeling of death knocking on his door, carrying the bodies of more than enough people. He thinks and thinks; if there is anyone in the world he will die for more than a thousand times, he knows it will be Uchiha Madara. Uchiha Madara who carries the heaviest burden of the clan with kaleidoscopes of blood drippig from the corner of his eyes and he holds everything. He is their Clan Head.</p>
<p>Which is why nobody is surprised when Takobu looks at Madara with surprise when he says that the Senju are to be their allies. An official ceasefire after generations and more of fighting because of a legend they never know the story of but they <em>know</em> like how they know that the Senju killed and continues to kill their brothers and sisters, they know like they know their bloods will never mix, and they know that peace will soon end. Takobu once worshipped the ground Madara walks on. He will die one thousand and one times for Madara, he will offer his descendants for Madara, he will give Madara everything, all because of the undyig loyalty rushing in his veins and he knows it is more than blood and honor, more than sacrifice and strength, because he truly and utterly believes in Madara.</p>
<p>Takobu does not know what to feel when the others nod their heads in agreement, afraid to fight and shed more blood but what are they talking about? Those Senju<b>—</b>they killed the brothers of their sisters, the husband of their mothers, their ancestors and Takobu knows the Senju will kill more of their descendants. Takobu can't just stop hating them. He can't just stop fighting them because this is not who Takobu is. He was raised from the boiling heat of blue flames and the heavy hand of his sneering father and his mother taught him the resistance to blades digging against his skin despite the burning burning burning urge to scream. He was not raised to stand idle when there is a Senju before him. He was raised to not hesitate when he sees that kami-awful clan symbol on their foreheads, raised to burn them with their most powerful techniques.</p>
<p>Konohagakure no Sato is a mere pipe dream. The peace that Takobu never knew he longs for. And despite the ranging color of brown eyes (he has only seen black within the gates for such a long time that his hand still inches for his blade whenever he sees unfamiliar gazes), he grows to love this pipe dream.</p>
<p>And maybe, that is why he does not meet Uchiha Madara's gaze when he announces he wishes to defect.</p>
<p>(Once upon a time, he would have done everything for Uchiha Madara, defeat the unbeatable, kill their kin, betray the world and tear it down if he says so. He would have razed villages if Madara wishes for him to do so but now, as he faces a pipe dream slowly turning to reality, as he remembers the disappointment gurgling in his stomach as Madara shakes hands with Hashirama, he decides that this is no longer the man he wishes to follow.</p>
<p>Uchiha Izuna dies, and the man Takobu will die for follows.)</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p><b>"IF THE WORLD IS TO END TOMORROW,"</b> the Kunoichi Class Instructor says slowly as Tatara stares blankly at the multi-colored flowers blooming before her. She wonders which of them are poisonous. "Who will you spend the whole day with? Write your answers on the sheet given a while ago. We'll call on volunteers to share their answers later."</p>
<p>Tatara glares at the Senju woman with surprise. She tilts her neck (a habit she will soon realize she inherits from her grandfather) and wonders how answering the question will affect their shinobi career. In The Clan, she is not taught to waste time. Time is gold and you can never take back what you have done. This Senju woman is only wasting their time and Tatara sees it from the way the other kunoichi-in-training looks at their instructor in surprise while the others gladly write down their answers with dimming heart eyes. Dimming because they know they are in a war. Heart eyes because they still cling to the blush of childhood, making the most of it because they know it will be snatched away from them in a matter of seconds.</p>
<p>She decides to write her answer with a flick of a hand.</p>
<p>
  <em>The Clan.</em>
</p>
<p>She asks the same question to her grandfather who looks at her with the same look she sent her Kunoichi Instructor but she straightens her back, meeting Takobu's eyes. She closes her eyes when Takobu nods at her approvingly. Someday, their eyes will not be charcoal and ebony but the deepest of red that spins under the moon. "I will want to spend my last  day with the man I looked up to the most," he says simply and Tatara ignores the disappointment on the tip of her tongue. Did she really expect that Takobu will say he will want to spend the rest of the day with her? "Who did you write, granddaughter?"</p>
<p>His voice creaks and there are days when Tatara wonders if Takobu can still see her. She notices how Takobu looks at another direction discreetly while talking to her, notices how he squints his eyes moreso than usual. <em>Are you really turning blind, ojiisama?</em> She wants to ask but instead, she answers his question with an almost-smile. "The Clan," she says proudly and there is a sharp glint of something in Takobu's eyes and she knows that it is not pride.</p>
<p>Takobu does not betray any emotion. He sips his tea with grace only seen in veteran warriors. "Mikoto and Fugaku-kun's wedding is in a few months," he changes the topic and Tatara's frown deepens when the heiress is mentioned. She has never liked Mikoto, hates her soft smiles and her rounded edges, hates how she survived in that mission a year ago instead of her older brother who is supposed to be the Clan Head and not Uchiha Fugaku. Takobu knows of her distaste but does not make a move to stop it. "I have already prepared a kimono for you. I expect you to be on your best behavior. Do not make a scene, Tatara."</p>
<p>She remembers the last she met Mikoto and it is on the funeral of Uchiha Mikado whose eyes resemble Mikoto's too much that she wants to pull them out of her sockets. She is three and some of the other children, the ones especially close to Mikado does not dare to look at Mikoto or even their mother. <em>Mikado loved to take in the strays</em>, The Clan says with an almost fond look as the ashes of Mikado is displayed in the compound. Mikado would have had been a great Clan Head. Tatara already hears the unspoken pressure on Fugaku's shoulders.</p>
<p>"Of course, ojiisama."</p>
<p>Instead, she makes another scene in the Academy. She faces a stronger opponent this time and the boy is around her age, if not, older than her by a month or two instead of the years that the others have on her. Gekkou Hayate is a second-generation shinobi whose dream is to become one of the best swordsman, even better than the infamous Kiri no Shichinin Shuu. Tatara recalls rolling her eyes because if there is anything about Hayate that she notices will stop him from becoming a competent shinobi, it is the clot of chakra around his chest area. She may not be trained in sensing chakra, but she knows the feeling of clotted chakra and during a particular rushed lunch break, she accidentally bumps against Hayate and feels the chakra surrounding his chest. She shifts to the Academy Style and Hayate notices this, scowling but immitates it anyway.</p>
<p>His straight hair reminds her of Mikoto. She turns her rage to the boy and targets the place where he is weakest in, her palm striking his chest. Hayate coughs but stands up again. Tatara feels the pain of hitting a chest plate and more fire enters her vision as she curses herself for not noticing the armor behind the thick clothes the mere second-generation wears. (She hates Mikoto so much.) Change is gradual, she once noticed. Konoha was not built in a day and everything is shown from the years and decades and generations and millions of corpses decorating the trees like the numerous of festivals in the Naka Shrine<b>—</b>it shown by the Senju and Uchiha. Change is gradual, too slow, too slow, and just too slow. She wants to move faster.</p>
<p>Hayate falls after seventeen and three-point-zero-seven seconds with wide eyes and content gaze. He manages to drive out the dance of a worn clan from the daughter of a Clan Elder. As he looks up at Tatara whose eyes gleam despite its utter darkness, he wonders if there are children born to be shinobi because if there is one, it is Tatara. (And years later as he watches Tatara walk under layers and layers of Uchiha crests with her gaze twirling pirouettes like the pinwheels their eyes are named after, he realizes that Tatara was not born to be a shinobi. Instead, she was born to be an Uchiha.)</p>
<p>He coughs a little and forms the seal of reconcilation with Tatara.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p><b>UCHIHA FUGAKU IS TWENTY-SIX AND THE WOMAN WAITING FOR HIM STANDS BESIDE HIM WITH THE FAMILIAR FAN OF HOME EMBLAZONED ON THEIR BACKS. </b>He likes Uchiha Mikoto but he doubts if he loves her at the moment. He knows that he can learn to love her like he once loved a woman who died for him once upon a time but for now, he decides that he likes Mikoto. The whole clan is behind them, even the deadlast Uchiha Obito who is distracted at how beautiful his wife is at the moment. He does not say it out loud but he also sees the granddaughter of one of The Clan's Elders, eyes yet to be tinted with the maroon of their pinwheels. He thinks of the first time he has seen her and it takes him back to the funeral of his wife's brother. (His brother-in-law? What an odd way of referring to the man who was supposed to be The Clan Head.) Uchiha Takobu is an acquaintance of his father, both raised during the Sengoku Jidai and his father never ceases to remind him of how lucky he is. Fugaku stays silent when his father scolds him but there are more days that he spends thinking that if this is luck, if war is luck, then is he still even lucky?</p>
<p>He does not move as he watches Takobu approach him with the same black robes he is wearing. The symbols fan their backs as the child whose name he has never gotten to remember, trails behind the Elder. "It seems that you are The Clan Head now, Fugaku-kun," Takobu drawls, "my family congratulates you."</p>
<p>Fugaku resists the urge to roll his eyes. No matter what happens to his position, even if he becomes the Hokage, he knows that in the eyes of the Elders, he will always still be a mere child. "Thank you, Takobu-dono," he feels rather satisfied at the change of honorific he uses. From '-<em>sama</em>' to '<em>-dono</em>' and the way the child frowns at him says so much that she notices too.</p>
<p>"This is my granddaughter<b>—</b>" Takobu gestures to the young girl whose features look exactly like the man The Clan Head once knew. "Introduce yourself."</p>
<p>With a frown, Tatara bows lowly. "I am Uchiha Tatara," she says and lifts her head, "it is a pleasure to finally meet you, Fugaku-sama."</p>
<p><em>Tatara</em>. Fugaku has heard about that name. His schedule shifts between The Uchiha Military Police Force and Anbu but he has enough time to hear of an Uchiha beating the daylights out of a Hyuuga boy older than they are when the white-eyed Academy student spat on the name of The Clan. He hears how The Elders whisper of a favorite Uchiha, a prodigy. Someone to be like Hatake Kakashi but Fugaku, despite his prodigal skills, is not as prodigal as the son of the White Fang. He doubts this child can be any better than himself but he does not speak out loud. Let the Elders think what they want to think.</p>
<p>Fugaku lets his eyes lazily crawl back to the disappearing figures of both Tatara and the Elder. His frown deepens but he does so discreetly. Uchiha Takobu is one of the most respected Elders of The Clan, but too trapped in the illusion of the warring era and his deceased son. Tatara's birth had been complicated. Majority of The Clan believed she was going to be mentally unstable, or she would die a few months post her birth, or even be born deformed because of how her mother had been her father's first cousin. Takobu's younger sister had beautiful but stern Tatsume, and Takobu had the kenjutsu prodigy, Tadoku. Then comes Tatara. He is reminded more of the paramour of Tatsume and Tadoku when the Elders discuss of another Uchiha's children whose desire is to marry one another. Marriage between clansmen is not rare, and The Clan encourages it but marriage between first cousins are frowned upon.</p>
<p>He sees a flash of so<em>mething something something</em> under the exhausted eyes of Takobu but he does not point it out. Instead, he closes his eyes and listens.</p>
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
<p><b>TATARA DISLIKES THE SUMMER SKIES. </b>She thinks of how it constantly burns her skin and the dark layers of her clothes do not help a single bit but she does not complain. She has long learned to not complain because that is how she is taught by her grandfather.</p>
<p>She also dislikes that Gekkō kid. <em>Weak</em>, she thinks as she watches him cough on his palms and stumble a little. Why is he even aiming to become a shinobi with that kind of body? She dislikes Hyuuga Horio who has learned to be still by the sidelines with narrowed eyes and aching jaw. She still feels the throbbing pain of breaking Horio's nose with her raw anger. Why does he think he, a mere branch member, can stand a chance against her, a born and bred Uchiha whose parents and grandparents are impressive enough to give her the skills everyone is expecting her to hone? She dislikes Nara Juushiro too, with his lazy slouch and droopy eyes. He is a Chuunin and has been one for years now. She thinks she could have had been a Jounin if it is not for his missing leg. Why is he still a shinobi?</p>
<p>The heat makes her sweat and, <em>why does summer come even if it is meant to go?</em> <b>—</b> why is she alive when she is going to be replaced anyway? Tatara may be rather narrow-minded but she is not stupid. She sees the way the Elders whisper to Fugaku about an heir as soon as possible, about Uchiha Kagami's grandson whose face resembles him even if the little boy's father had inherited most of his features from Kagami's wife. She sees them aching to replace her, at the same time pampering her with compliments.</p>
<p><em>Make me a champion</em>, Takobu lets the smoke from his pipe puff from his chapped lips that one night Tatara was more injured than necessary from training, <em>and I will ask for another.</em> She wonders if he was comforting her because of her bitter emotions of being another pawn in the Elder's game. She finds it hard to read her grandfather, finds it pathetic of her to actually <em>try</em> to read her grandfather because she can never have the courage to ask him.</p>
<p>"Marriage between clansmen are forbidden in Kumo, did you know that?" Tatara turns her gaze from the sky to one of her older cousins. Uchiha Tsujirou handles himself like the sky handles his sun, with scorching graze and pride. He lifts his chin and straightens his back, and holds his katana in a way that promises blood. He graduates when he turns eight, not that much of an accomplishment but the Elders take note of his skill in kenjutsu and fūinjutsu <b>—</b> unheard of for an Uchiha and they find a reason to wait.</p>
<p>Her reply comes dry and automatic. She is unsure if it is the Uchiha that is speaking or Tatara. (She ignores the fact that Tatara is rather non-existent. After all, Tatara was born because of being an Uchiha. Tatara was raised like an Uchiha. Tatara is an Uchiha. She closes her eyes and lets her bones creak from beneath the summer skies.) But she thinks she is prideful and nonchalant. Something both the Uchiha in her and the real Tatara have. "Kumo doesn't have much clans anyway," she drawls.</p>
<p>Tsujirou's grin is feral. Tatara is reminded of the Inuzuka in her class who complains about the heat she is tempted to also complain about. <em>You have class</em>, the inner-Elder voice in her head says and normally, she will grimace at the figmented scolding but she chooses not to, <em>the Uchiha do not complain like those mutts. </em>Mutts <b>—</b> she thinks and thinks and thinks. The Uchiha are a prideful clan, are they not?</p>
<p>"That's because Kumo doesn't care much about clans," the older boy explains and Tatara is reminded of the other boys and girls from The Clan who whisper about Tsujirou in the library again. <em>The Elders don't know what to do about that curiosity; encourage it or put it to stop. After all, curiosity killed the cat, just like his mother. </em>Another Elder piped in with voice resembling bells as Tatara hid behind the shoji doors. <em>And satisfaction brought it back. The curiosity of Tsubaki will never leave Tsujirou, and Tsujirou's children. </em>Tatara never got to meet Tsubaki but they say that Tsujirou is exactly like her. "Did you know that they rarely use their surnames in Kumo? Their names describe who they are as a person; the Raikage has always been <em>A</em>, which I'm pretty sure is the first character in their code-thing<em>(1)</em>. And then the Hachibi Jinchuuriki is always B, and the Raikage's direct subbordinate is always C. Interesting, right?"</p>
<p>Tatara is almost interested. Almost. Her head is still full of questions she doubts will ever be answered but she lends an ear to Tsujirou whose words will be of value to her when she leaves the walls of the village for war. "So they don't care about the clan name but what makes them <em>them</em>, is that it?" She asks and feels Tsujirou bob his head in affirmation. "Odd." She can't imagine that in Konoha.</p>
<p>"I won't be Tsujirou there," the Uchiha muses, "probably Kitai<em>(2)</em>."</p>
<p>"It suits you, Tsujirou-niisan," Tatara humors him.</p>
<p>A beat of silence passes before Tsujirou looks back at her, humming. "You'll be Ouhei<em>(3)</em>," he laughs when Tatara sends him a glare, "hmm, maybe Sunao<em>(4)</em>?"</p>
<p>"I'm not meek," Tatara huffs.</p>
<p>"I mean obedient," Tsujirou points out, "but seeing what I heard around the Police about a certain Uchiha beating a Hyuuga's ass, hmm."</p>
<p>"Stop being vulgar."</p>
<p>"I think I know what your name will be," Tsujirou suddenly says as he lets his body fall down the ground. The summer heat clings to his dark clothes he knows as the Uchiha garb.</p>
<p>Tatara does not make a move to ask what her name will be if ever she is in Kumo and instead, spreads her legs before her, begging for a wintery cold. She flinches softly when Tsujirou flicks her cheek. <em>Cold</em>, she thinks, <em>his hand is cold. </em>Most Uchiha are naturally warm because of the fire affinity. She wonders if the rumors are true about Tsujirou having a water affinity. She guesses it comes from Uchiha Mikoto's side of the family, whose women are naturally inclined to water, an oddity in The Clan. After all, Tsujirou is Mikoto's first or second cousin.</p>
<p>The haze of the sun makes her sigh but she does not complain. "You'll be Wabiru<em>(5)</em>," Tsujirou announces.</p>
<p>"Which one?"</p>
<p>The silence returns and Tatara hears a '<em>what do you think</em>' coming from Tsujirou as he leaves for a mission. She does not complain.</p>
<p>She wonders if she should have.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(1) kitai litterally means curious.</p>
<p>(2) ouhei literally means arrogant / haughty / insolent</p>
<p>(3) sunao literally means obedient / meek</p>
<p>(4) wabiru literally means either proud or lonely, which is why tatara asks 'which one' (is the meaning tsujirou is referring to) and tsujirou replies with 'what do you think'.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>(1) tobihi or 飛び火 means 'leaping flames' which i used to associate with one of the uchiha clan's taijutsu style. this is used to emphasize their usage of fire techniques and their swift movements accompanying their battles.</p><p>(+) i originally named tatara after tatara from tokyo ghoul because he is only of the most mysterious characters there. i loved his relationship with eto and his backstory. and dyk, tatara is apparently a chinese constellation for bonds which really fits uchiha tatara as a character.</p><p>(+) uchiha shisui is currently two years old. tatara is three to four years younger than kakashi, seven to six years older than itachi, and ten to eleven years older than rookie nine. the current timeline shows the beginning of the third shinobi war; hatake sakumo just died.</p><p>(+) really though, a taijutsu style for a clan is something that identifies them as being part of the clan which is why despite her huge pride over her clan, tatara uses the academy style when sparring. she likes to think that showing people the clan's taijutsu style means that they are either a worthy opponent of witnessing the clan or she's just really angry.</p><p>(+) why did i write someone as uchiha-centric as tatara? well, i got exhausted of seeing itachi/oc or shisui/oc or someone/oc fics with the oc being an uchiha who doesn't give a shit about her clan just because they are trying to be the good guys which is unrealistic, really. itachi and shisui were the only uchiha known in the anime and manga to not think twice of betraying the clan for the village. fugaku is the loml and as much as i know that he loves the village, his love for the clan outweighs it all. tatara is supposed to be the representation of an uchiha raised by an elder. all the fics about the uchiha clan treat the elders as the bad guys because they're all 'ilysm clan' which is why i wrote this. writing from the elders' perspectives or tatara's perspective makes everything look okay even though it's not.</p><p>i wouldn't call tatara's love for the clan as real love since it's more of a devotion or an obsession. she was not raised by her parents, only takobu who is a bitter old man who resents the current generation because they have it better than him, who witnessed the sengoku jidai. he's like around izuna's age. like years younger than izuna. so if i were to give him an age, i would say he is around kawarama or itama's age during the sengoku jidai. during the sengoku jidai, takobu only knew that it was the clan against the world and somehow, he managed to instill this mindset to tatara.</p><p>(+) you can also find me on wattpad under the same surname, trendykids! i would love to hear what you think!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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